An Encounter of the (Very) Personal Kind

Alright, I’ve alluded to this in other posts, but in the interest of full disclosure, I think it’s important that I put it out there…

I’m a Christian.

Hopefully, not one of those in-your-face-Bible-thumping-”religious” variety, but a person who believes in the fullness of the Bible – start to finish, A to Z.  A person who though quick (I hope) to admit imperfections, is thankful for the mercy and grace of a living God — thankful that every day is a new opportunity to be better and any wrong is not so great that it can not be forgiven.

My beliefs play a GIGANTIC  role in shaping my life. I’m not one of those can’t-put-my-socks-on-without-asking-God-which-ones kind of people, but I strive every day to ”walk with God.” To keep His Word in the back of my mind. To see the world the way He sees it. To move in the plans and purposes that I believe He has predestined for my life.  I don’t apologize for it. I just thought you, as a reader, should know that about me.

I grew up in what I would consider a religious household – I knew a lot about the things of God. We had daily devotional time, church on Sunday, all the appropriate “milestone ceremonies” at various times in life. While I’m thankful for that heritage and those traditions – I really came to know God (up close and personal) in my early 20s.

It’s funny because I think as far back as I can remember, I always felt something was missing. I can’t really explain it. But just a consistent emptiness and a feeling that there had to be more.

I can’t tell you the exact day or hour (I know some people can and that’s cool – just not my story) but I can just tell you that from the time I made the decision, God took me through a process and it’s been a journey ever since. I’ve actually kept a pretty cool journal since the early 90s that mark some of my more significant revelations about or with God. I’ve found that He likes to “speak” to me (not audibly mind you – that would probably totally freak me out!…but like a knowing in my knower ) with short thoughts or sentences. Like the time…

…very shortly after I had gotten saved when I was doing something I shouldn’t have been. I just felt this overwhelming feeling that what I was doing was breaking Jesus’ heart.

…I was living in another state in a town I’d been in for maybe 6 months. I had just broken off my engagement and went to a church where I didn’t know anybody (NO ONE I’m telling you). I wasn’t upset that day – was very happy in fact. I like me some lively praise & worship music so I was getting into it and just really pretty happy to be there. At the end of the service, someone (totally random) came up to me and said these words (I have them memorized), “You did the right thing because God didn’t want that for your life…”  The person said some other things, but I’m going to keep those just for me for now.

…fast forward about 4 months (still in same state/town/pseudo relationship – what can I say? – I wanted desperately what I wanted!: and that was to be married and have this fairy tale). So, I’m still hoping against hope that somehow this thing can work out with this guy. I quit my job and spend like a week just reading my bible and praying. A week! All I get is “Go Home. Stop Running. Stop Running.” I go back to that church (this would be my 2nd time – the first being the above) and I kid you not, someone comes up to me completely out of the blue, puts their hand on my arm and says, “Honey, God says you need to go home and stop running.” I packed up my things and left later that week.

…even just recently (this was a fun one): about 3 yrs ago I had the sense that He was calling me to just “Keep Preparing.” Well as I was cleaning house just days ago, I “heard” this, “I told you to Keep Preparing…not Start Preparing.” See I’ve been a start n stop kind of girl since I got that original word. Ouch. Better get busy.

Anyways, I tell you these things to share that God has been very real and personal in my life. He is my hope and the Perfecter of my faith. Right now I’m on a really exciting journey to better understand the Holy Spirit. It’s wild! I don’t even begin to profess perfection – thank God I don’t have to be! I’m into being authentic and real. I think that’s how Jesus was. He wasn’t into all the rules and regulations of the times…he was into relationships – meeting people where they were and really caring about their lives. I want to be like that.

I love to talk about this stuff and am pretty much always up for it. So, drop me a tweet, a facebook note or an email if you want to know more or if there’s something in particular you want to chat about. (Just so you know, I’m not really into the whole arguing about what/who’s right, wrong, etc., etc. I just know what I know in my knower.) I’m not here to convince anybody of anything or try to sway any opinions. You’re all intelligent Foxy people who can think for themselves! I’m just sharing where my perspective comes from.

And its Foxy to take a stand and be authentic in who we are right?